Nine Common Expressions of the Sin of Family Idolatry
Family idolatry is a plague which runs across society and among all kinds of Christian church circles- the most conservative ones being no exception.
Family idolatry even often is an issue at the roots of why people stay among false and compromised churches and do not rather follow the proper worship of the Lord to the best of their knowledge.
It is true that many sin in relation to neglecting duties and responsibilities which pertain to their family members. Two obvious examples of this are parents who are derelict in their duties of properly caring for their children and adults who are neglectful of the well-being of their elderly parents.
The Bible says in 1 Timothy 5:8: “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”
Nevertheless, it’s not only possible but also extremely common for people to regard family interests inappropriately and/or to regard family members ahead of the Lord Himself. Jesus acknowledged this reality multiple times in the Gospels and made it clear that being faithful to Him can easily come into conflict with one’s natural love for family members.
Matthew 10:37-39: “He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.”
Here are nine key ways in which people commonly commit family idolatry by choosing family over Jesus (remember that Jesus is the Truth who commands us to walk in truth).
These points are especially related to how family idolatry is commonly committed among Christians who boldly claim that they are living under the authority of the Bible.
One) Not cutting off relatives who are actively working to turn one’s household or church from the Lord.
Deuteronomy 13:6-10 says: “If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers; Namely, of the gods of the people which are round about you, nigh (near) unto thee, or far off from thee, from the one end of the earth even unto the other end of the earth; Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him: But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people. And thou shalt stone him with stones, that he die; because he hath sought to thrust thee away from the Lord thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.”
We obviously do not live in a theocracy like ancient Israel was. Therefore, the government killing people over religious matters should not be something that we seek to have done. Nevertheless, the eternal principle seen in the passage just read is that people who are actively, deliberately working to turn people from the Lord ought to be cut off from any place of influence which one has jurisdiction over.
2 John 9-11: “Whosoever transgresseth, and abideth not in the doctrine of Christ, hath not God. He that abideth in the doctrine of Christ, he hath both the Father and the Son. If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed: For he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds.”
This includes not giving one’s own family members a platform to teach things which oppose Bible truth. Family members who insist on making family gatherings sessions where they teach such things need to be cut off. Offspring still at home who are actively trying to turn others in the home from the Lord need to be kicked out. There are even church leaders who let others, including their own family members, hang around church gatherings and speak with the goal of turning people from true Bible teaching.
Family idolatry is often seen when family members actively opposed to the Lord are not cut off from places of influence and regarded as dead by those with the authority to cut them off from their realms of jurisdiction.
I don’t mean a confused family member who might ask a few questions out of their own curiosity and might share a few unbiblical opinions as a natural part of dialogue when they clearly don’t have a conscious agenda to oppose Biblical truth and aren’t trying to subvert God-ordained authority. Definite boundaries should be set as occasion demands so there is no confusion and so no one can feign ignorance to advance a wicked agenda.
Sadly though, family idolatry is often committed through parents enabling family members (often grown adult offspring) to subvert homes; and through church leaders letting their natural relations with evil agendas corrupt their churches.
Two) Enabling the bad behavior of offspring in relation to church.
Like Israel’s High Priest Eli let his sons continue to minister under him in spite of their wicked behavior, some church leaders allow their wicked offspring and the offspring of others in their good graces to be involved in ministry among their congregation in spite of that offspring’s wicked behavior. As with Eli, rebuking these wicked offspring is not enough. They need to not only be removed from ministry, they also need to be removed from the congregation altogether according to the instructions of 1 Corinthians chapter 5.
Three) Attendance of sinful family gatherings and/or permitting spouse and/or offspring to attend sinful family gatherings.
Not only do fathers or other heads of households need to not allow relatives to invade the home to spread ungodliness, they also should not be allowing those in their household to attend gatherings where it is known or highly likely that sin will be prevailing- including family gatherings. Sometimes it is even the wife as much or more than the adolescents and young adults of the home who throw a tantrum over righteous policy being in place and enforced. To yield to such pressure and back down in these situations, or to never implement such policy at all to keep any in the family happy, is another expression of family idolatry.
A wife who will not submit to such policies and heartily enforce such policies alongside her husband on the rest of the home is an example of moral uncleanness which righteously warrants divorce as prescribed in Deuteronomy 24:1-2. Jesus made it clear over and over in the Gospels that everything He taught in them on divorce and remarriage, and on everything else, should be interpreted consistent with the Law of Moses- since He came not to destroy the law but rather to fulfill it.
Four) Not reporting crimes committed by family members to the governmental authorities.
Romans chapter 13 makes it clear that the State is a minister of God’s vengeance on criminals. The State must be cooperated with and helped so they will do their job well in this. When someone won’t report a crime which they know or have probable cause to believe that their relatives have committed to the authorities, this is another expression of family idolatry.
Sometimes church leaders will enable such cover-up to happen in crimes related to church by citing 1 Corinthians chapter 6. Yet 1 Corinthians chapter 6 is reproving civil lawsuits among church members being brought to the secular courts instead of brought to the church to be settled by an impartial court there. 1 Corinthians chapter 6 is not teaching that criminal matters should be withheld from the secular authorities. That is cover-up of crime and it is exceedingly wicked.
There was a civil war in Israel appointed by God which caused mass death and damage over one tribe’s family idolatry expressed through keeping their own from the due punishment of a crime which was committed (the tribe of Benjamin- the whole matter is recorded in Judges chapters 19 to 21).
It is true that sometimes expiration of statutes of limitations and other factors might make reporting a crime to the authorities a pointless endeavor. Nevertheless, it is still wrong to treat a crime as if it never happened. It is also wrong to associate with one which has heinously victimized another who is not contrite over what they did and done what they could reasonably do to take accountability.
Five) Choosing a church based on family convenience rather than faithfulness to Biblical truth.
It is not unusual for a father or other head of household to choose the church which their family attends based upon the happiness of their wife and/or offspring and/or the approval of their own parents or other family members when they know the church is compromised and unfaithful to Biblical truth.
Perhaps it is thought that the singing is more entertaining for their kids.
Perhaps it is thought that there are connections in the community and opportunities for business opened up through attending the compromised church.
Perhaps the wife and/or kids have friends already at the compromised church or there is more potential for enjoyable social connections through attending this church.
Perhaps it appears that older kids will have options for marriage at the compromised church (and I’ve known of parents considering whom their kids would marry well before they were even old enough to get married- that is ridiculous).
Perhaps other family members outside the home would be upset if the unfaithful church were to be left.
Such cleaving to an unfaithful church is only aggravated further yet when there is a potentially faithful church known of which is not even given an honest, reasonable chance.
Six) Claiming duties pertaining to family to justify sins of omission.
Having a spouse and children can’t righteously be used as a shield from having one’s life disrupted in order to fulfill duties prescribed by God. However, many who might appear to be faithful Christians on the surface are not people who can be counted on to lay down their lives to help those whom it is clear that they ought to help.
The Good Samaritan may have had a family whom he was going home to when he saw the wounded man laying on the side of the road and dying. But whether he did or not, doing what was in his power to relieve the man’s affliction and get him the help he needed to recover was essential for him- and more important than coming to home to any family he might have had when they expected him to come home.
I can too easily imagine many from conservative Christian households just telling the next person whom they saw on the road about the dying man- while they used the excuse of going home to their family as a reason to not to be inconvenienced and do like the Good Samaritan did.
Citing family as an excuse to neglect the obviously needy, and as an excuse to omit the doing of other necessary acts, is unacceptable.
God has called His people to be a light in a dark world where there is much wrong, there are emergency needs, and there are many people who need a lot of help just to get on the road to spiritual recovery in Christ. Reality is ugly, unexpected duties and opportunities to do good come up (though many miss them), and the best chances to have a righteous impact in the world are often not things that can be planned.
Yet many want to live in a bubble where they delude themselves that things are mostly rosy and life seems generally extremely happy and peaceful. For many, a chief protection of this imaginary bubble in their minds is the claim of “I have a family.” This is also a chief reason why many are so callous towards others outside their bubble or at least unreliable towards them.
None of this is saying that anyone should actually be irresponsible concerning family obligations. However, when fathers whose wives are also present for the kids act like they need to be home every night and they therefore couldn’t visit someone in somewhere like a hospital or a prison who is requesting someone to come to pray and study the Bible with them, or they act like they could never ever leave their family for a mission trip, they are in danger of neglecting obligations towards God due to family idolatry.
God knows the extreme cases where someone really can’t afford to be away from their family at all and isn’t just acting like that is so due out of an overinflated estimation of their own importance and/or as a lame excuse to to remain in the routine they’ve chosen for themselves.
Seven) Offense over righteous rebuke of family members.
Some leave churches for the wrong reasons and/or hold unrighteous grudges against certain people because of rebuke and criticism made of a family member which was actually warranted to make.
It is also possible to make criticism of family members which perhaps wasn’t accurate an unnecessarily big deal and respond to such in an unwarranted way- as if a minor insult or slightly inaccurate statement about a family member of theirs was blasphemy against God Himself.
Eight) Changing views to accommodate wicked family members.
Some back down from moral stances which they had once taken and/or begin attending more liberal churches not because they consulted the Bible and saw things more clearly from that basis, but rather because they wanted to please others. Perhaps that sinful groveling to man even involved the justification of a family member who was involved in the thing which they have now changed their mind about.
Though many claim they “saw things more clearly after a time of introspection and reflection” the fact is they forsook the Word of the Lord while the timing of their view change also reflects the shift in society itself on the issue and/or involves the timing of the coming out of a certain family member in relation to the issue at hand.
Nine) Undue measures taken in order to begin a family.
Though traditional families are a necessary foundation for society and a key building block for a church which many problems result from a lack of, it is simultaneously true that no individual has a right before God to a spouse and children at the expense of pursuing the whole package of truth contained in His Word.
It is sin to compromise Biblical values to obtain a spouse.
It is wrong to have children and expect others to fund them (this is not saying that it is ever right to end a living fetus in the womb- yet it is saying that it is wrong to be involved in begetting a child which one won’t take full responsibility for the care of- and this is so even when the couple which produced the child is married).
It is wrong to insist on getting married when one has reason to believe they have duties before God which marriage would likely interfere with the fulfillment of.
It is wrong to let natural interests of any kind prevent one from making the response to the Lord which they ought to make without delay.
Luke 14:15-27: “And when one of them that sat at meat with him heard these things, he said unto him, Blessed is he that shall eat bread in the kingdom of God. Then said he unto him, A certain man made a great supper, and bade (invited) many: And sent his servant at supper time to say to them that were bidden, Come; for all things are now ready. And they all with one consent began to make excuse. The first said unto him, I have bought a piece of ground, and I must needs go and see it: I pray thee have me excused. And another said, I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I go to prove (test) them: I pray thee have me excused. And another said, I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come. So that servant came, and shewed his lord these things. Then the master of the house being angry said to his servant, Go out quickly into the streets and lanes of the city, and bring in hither (here) the poor, and the maimed, and the halt, and the blind. And the servant said, Lord, it is done as thou hast commanded, and yet there is room. And the lord said unto the servant, Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled. For I say unto you, That none of those men which were bidden shall taste of my supper. And there went great multitudes with him: and he turned, and said unto them, If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.”
No one actually even has a right before God to assume their life is so important that they are entitled to possess anything and/or pursue any interest at the expense of violating His righteous boundaries or of neglecting to do the good which He requires.
James 4:13-17: “Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain: Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that. But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil. Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.”
Aaron’s email is: [email protected]
CLICK HERE TO GO TO OUR FRONT PAGE FOR ALL THE STUDIES
CLICK HERE TO GO TO OUR 3RD WORLD MISSION TO THE IMPOVERISHED