Does the Bible Teach Church Leaders Must be Married or Must be Single?

The Catholic Church mandates celibacy of its clergy (with certain specific and rare exceptions). The Eastern Orthodox Church forbids its bishops from being married and does not allow its married priests to remarry if their wife dies.

On the other hand, a little over 90 percent of pastors of other churches in the United States are currently married and over 95 percent have been married at some point. Though it may be rare for a church to say in its doctrinal statement that its head pastor or overseer must be married, that is an obvious unwritten rule in many churches.

Is it right for a church to mandate marriage of its leaders? Or is it right for a church to mandate that its leaders be single? Or could it be that both of these things are wrong? And if so, how serious a problem is this?

First of all, the Bible does indeed teach that the Lord God decreed that marriage should be between a man and a woman. He appointed sexual relations in that context alone. Not limiting marriage to a biological man and a biological woman, and not limiting sexual relations to only being legitimate in God’s eyes within such a marriage, are each at their core defiance of God.

1 Corinthians 7:2 says: “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.”

We see in the Bible how God killed 24,000 Israelites in a plague due to Israel’s fornication and idolatry in Numbers chapter 25. These Israelites gave into the enticements of heathen idolatry and the fornication which accompanied that.

1 Corinthians 6:18 says: “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.”

With that established, let’s look at whether the Bible teaches whether church leaders must be single.

Hebrews 13:4 says: “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”

The Bible even names forbidding marriage when speaking of doctrines of devils.

1 Timothy 4:1-3: “Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth.”

When Catholic apologists defend their church’s clerical celibacy, they have to quote Popes, church councils, and go into the realm of speculation. They can’t stand upon nor cite the Apostles of Christ in their claims. Yet the Catholic Church claims that it is the one holy and apostolic church.

1 John 4:6 says: “We are of God: he that knoweth God heareth us; he that is not of God heareth not us. Hereby know we the spirit of truth, and the spirit of error.”

This was written by one of Christ’s Apostles. They surely taught that marriage is honorable in all and that forbidding marriage is a doctrine of devils. Many of them were married themselves (see 1 Corinthians 9:5). The Apostle Paul was not married.

Read 1 Corinthians chapter 7 to verify the following assertions.

Even in the place in the Bible where Paul spoke of the excellence of singleness, he still did not say that Christian leaders must be single.

Paul also did not teach that the excellence of singleness is limited to Christian leaders who remain single.

There are potential advantages and benefits of singleness for any Christian. There are many forms of Christian service in which it is good to not be ensnared with the cares of having a family. Even having a regular job as a single person leaves one with more free time, as well as the ability to give more money for missions and for the needy, than they would have if they were married. Extra time and less care can be especially useful to help a person in doing right in God’s eyes whether they are a church leader or not.

However, the Bible also does not teach that singleness is a higher form of spirituality nor does it teach that a faithful single Christian would have to have a diminished walk with the Lord if they were to get married (though a foolish choice to get married due to the particular person selected and/or the timing and circumstances of the marriage could indeed be elements in destroying someone spiritually).

The Bible teaches that there is no inherent conflict between being an appointed Christian leader over a church and being married.

Now, let’s look at whether the Bible teaches whether church leaders must be married.

In many churches, there is no way in actuality that a single person would ever be the pastor (I say “pastor” for the understanding of others- “overseer” is a more accurate and better term than pastor for the main leader of a church congregation- more on that shortly).

One of the main objections which many would put forth against single church leaders is the claim that they don’t know how to raise a family or that they’re unproven in raising a family.

The Bible does give the following qualification for an overseer in 1 Timothy 3:4-5: “One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)”

Earlier in the same chapter, it says within 1 Timothy 3:2: “A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife,”

And by the way: “Bishop” in the preceding verse is episkopos in the Greek text. This literally means “overseer.” The term overseer also sounds less pretentious than bishop and pastor.

It is obvious that one chosen to be an overseer should be ruling his own house well and have his children in subjection. But if 1 Timothy chapter 3 is teaching that an overseer must be married, is it not teaching that he must have children as well? The text makes it clear that you surely cannot rightfully separate these things. However, the things said in 1 Timothy 3:4-5 also make it evident that the children would also have to be grown up to some degree for the man to be able to prove his wisdom in raising them. If 1 Timothy chapter 3 is teaching that an overseer must be married, this would also disqualify those that don’t have older or full grown offspring as well as married men who don’t have children at all.

And by the way: 1 Timothy 3 indeed teaches that an overseer must be a man. The closing verses of 1 Timothy chapter 2 had already made it clear that women are forbidden from teaching men and exercising authority over men in the church.

So, is not 1 Timothy chapter 3 teaching that a church leader must be a married man with older or full grown offspring?

It can really only seem that way if you disregard a certain established Biblical reality. Paul and Timothy were basically overseers of overseers themselves. Paul was surely single. Timothy could very well have been single also. There is no Biblical evidence that Timothy was not single. Paul obviously wasn’t demanding something from leaders of local churches which he was in charge of that he wasn’t following himself.

Those who claim that a single person shouldn’t be allowed to lead a church are basically claiming that it was acceptable for Paul to be an Apostle but that it would be unacceptable to allow him to be one’s local overseer.

The Bible’s qualifications for an overseer of a church in relation to marriage are stated concerning those who happen to be married. The counsel in 1 Timothy 3 is a recognition that many candidates to be overseers of a church will be married rather than a requirement that they be married.

The same Apostle who wrote 1 Timothy chapter 3 also wrote the following.

1 Corinthians 7:7-8: “For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.”

The Bible gives reasons why it is better for some to marry, yet one who receives this exhortation obviously shouldn’t be penalized by being disqualified from overseeing a church.

Some might yet object and say that a man who doesn’t have a family wouldn’t have the ability to lead a church due to the family issues which inevitably come up within it.

Such a claim might very well be derived from a view of leadership where the head overseer/pastor leads almost everything and does all the counseling. Yet that is not a Biblical view of church leadership. Those in a position of leadership over others don’t need to know everything about any issue which might come up. A good leader acknowledges that they are not the best source of knowledge for every issue which they might face and has no problem delegating a task to one who knows better in a given area. A competent leader is willing and able to enlist the help of experienced husbands, fathers, wives, mothers, etc. when others in the church need direction in family issues which he doesn’t necessarily know a lot about himself.

Besides that, no one is going to encounter every trial in their own life which others around them encounter. Married men with children will not face every trial related to marriage and parenting which those in their church might face in these areas. If experience in every nuance of life were a Biblical requirement for being a church leader, then no one would ever be qualified. There are many challenges which can only be dealt with by general wisdom and learning on the fly. General faithfulness and character before the Lord matter as much or more than specific life experiences.

Moreover, there is likely something very wrong with a church that has lots of families and no single people over 30. Someone who has endured prolonged adult singleness should have life experience better suited to help these. Those who would be impartial must acknowledge and be concerned about the limits of married leaders as well as single ones.

Some might claim that a man who isn’t married by age 25 or 30 is irresponsible. But how do they really know that concerning any particular individual? Though some might avoid marriage out of refusal to take responsibility or another pathetic reason, Paul’s exhortation regarding singleness in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 still shows that one might not be married for very good reasons. Unless you know a person’s current and past circumstances extremely well, it is presumptuous to assume they are irresponsible because they are single.

The same goes for divorced people (whether they have remarried or not). Sometimes the fault in a divorce is only one side. Sometimes one is even abandoned by their spouse precisely because of what they did right. Sometimes one’s past divorce was decades ago. Though the individual may have been at fault, they may have been thoroughly amended by now concerning whatever was their fault. It is wicked and ruinous when people lay down rules that don’t echo the Bible’s counsel which are rather based on their own experiences, perceptions, and opinions.

People’s past circumstances, and how they might have changed or not, need to be investigated in order to make righteous judgments about whether they are fit to lead in the present. Some are unwilling to do this because they are sinfully in love with their own opinions. Some are also too sinfully lazy to actually do the investigation necessary to make righteous judgments about people.

The claims of unmarried men being irresponsible also assume that men who get married are responsible and have married for noble reasons. This is by no means always true. People often marry for the less than noble reason of having a sexual outlet. Though it is better to get married than to fornicate, it is even better to have enough discipline and patience to not let that be the chief reason.

People can even marry for reasons that are downright evil. In some churches, especially churches where single men are disqualified from leadership, being married is an unwritten status symbol. When this is the case, people are tempted to marry for the sake of social acceptance and to avoid being a social outcast. Getting married for this reason is sinful.

It is wrong and pathetic when a man chooses to marry a rude and contentious woman due to lust and/or due to wanting to look better before people. It is even more wrong and pathetic when doing this causes him to meet a qualification for leading a church while a man is disqualified for making the right choice not to marry such a woman.

A church truly cannot be considered a faithful, Biblical church if being among its leadership, including being the head overseer/pastor, is virtually off limits to an unmarried man. The same is so for any church where being among its leadership, including being the head overseer/pastor, is off limits to a man because he is married. The authority of the Word of God prevailing cannot be separated from heeding the Word’s instructions, verdicts, and precedents. Therefore, this is no small matter. It is crucial for a church to neither require being single nor require being married of its leaders.