12 Key Reasons Why Many Christian Home School Kids Don’t Turn Out Godly
First of all, disclaimers:
Everyone is accountable for themselves for their own choices before God.
Nobody will have any solid ground on Judgment Day to justify their sinful deeds and any refusal in them to walk in the light of truth before God.
Therefore, the most authentically faithful, godly upbringing of a child cannot guarantee that child will become a faithful, godly adult.
While the most ungodly upbringing does not need to prevent one from renouncing the ungodliness of their upbringing and becoming a faithful, godly person.
In this fallen and corrupt world, even the most advantageous situation to godliness is still perilous.
At the same time, with the reality of the grace of God in Christ and its power to deliver those who cooperate therewith from the guilt and power of sin, even the most disadvantageous case is still potentially redeemable.
Even though in many cases homeschooling isn’t the springboard to godliness which it is often claimed to be, it is still generally better than public schools (and even many private schools), for a multitude of reasons.
At the very least, homeschooling children delivers them from the secular humanist indoctrination prevalent in the public school system.
Nothing said here should be construed to be opposition to homeschooling itself.
The issue considered and analyzed here is the one set forth in Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
We are looking here at several key reasons why kids homeschooled in professing Christian households do not necessarily end up being trained in the way that they should go.
I do not claim that this is a complete list in relation to the title of this message, yet these are 12 things which definitely stand out to me from what I have observed.
Let me be very clear: By no means should everything delineated here be seen as an indictment of every Christian homeschool parent or family nor should it be assumed that even one thing mentioned here is necessarily the case with any given individual homeschool parent or family.
Any whom none of these things are so of should understand that they are problems in general which ought to be acknowledged and remedied wherever and whenever they do exist.
Even one of these things in a particular home is enough to sabotage a Christian homeschool education.
Here is the list then:
1) Bad Social Influences– I think it would be rare to find a Christian homeschooling family that wasn’t on their guard to a notable degree regarding bad influences. Otherwise, they’d probably be sending their children to public schools (and shame on those who send their kids to public schools if homeschooling is a realistic option in their circumstances). With that said, often homeschooling families let their kids associate unsupervised with other homeschooled kids whose parents have already let them be exposed to bad influences. These associations multiply and create a snowball effect which brings bad consequences and subtle ungodly training into entire circles of homeschooled youth. This can especially be the case when there is some open weekly event at a given location involving homeschooled families. I have witnessed parents who were super cautious about even letting their teenagers wander alone in stores yet way less cautious about letting them be among other homeschooled teens and young adults whose character was questionable, if not already proven to be shady.
Often, the current or former homeschooled youths who complain so much about the over-protection of homeschool parents are the very ones whom homeschool parents should have been extra vigilant to keep their own kids away from.
2) Bad Doctrine/Bad Church Influences– Not even a home school education in a relatively pure, undefiled home setting can overcome being part of a church where bad doctrine prevails. Many home school families go to churches where there is subtle or blatant Dispensationalism and/or Calvinism taught.
The Apostle didn’t give the following warning in vain in 1 Corinthians 15:33-34: “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. Awake to righteousness, and sin not; for some have not the knowledge of God: I speak this to your shame.”
The unconditional security in Dispensationalism and Calvinism, as well as the counterfeit righteousness involved in the prevalent and widely accepted isms of Pacifism, Pentecostalism, and Judaizing all subvert righteous training in children as well as adults.
Our study “Isms Which Corrupt the Realm of Evangelical Christianity” deals in detail with these things especially. These things also have not been commonly labeled as damnable heresy like the isms in the groups commonly known to be heretical sects (like Catholicism, Mormonism, Jehovah’s Witnesses/Russellism, 7th Day Adventism, etc.) frequently have been. Those isms typically admit on the surface (or just beneath the surface) to have an alternate authority to the Bible. Yet these other isms which are commonly accepted in the realm of evangelical Christianity also have an alternate authority to the Bible which isn’t typically admitted to be such and/or isn’t as easy to trace.
3) Righteousness Taught as Divorced from God’s Grace and Ultimate Salvation– In spite of the apparently serious measures taken to train children to be godly disciples of Christ, many homeschooled kids are nevertheless taught a view of salvation which is divorced from practical righteousness and Christian discipleship. They are often not only taught the deadly doctrine of unconditional eternal security through Dispensationalist and/or Calvinist influence at their church (or by some other means), they are also taught to pray the “1, 2, 3 repeat after me” sinner’s prayer as a supposed quick fix for their ultimate salvation. It is irresponsible madness. Therefore, they see stressing the necessity to obey God’s moral law as legalism. They thus see authentic Christian discipleship as legalism.
How can one run a race or fight a war which they have been told that they have already won? Many think the answer lies in running the Christian race being a by-product of salvation. Yet that thinking is Calvinistic to the core, though many don’t understand and acknowledge that. This thinking is also simply not based on reality, it does not work in real life, and it also falsely assumes that there is no free will after conversion to Christ. This mentality paves the way for shallow, false conversions to Christ to be seen as valid; while also paving the way for spiritual defeat and quite possibly apostasy after an authentic conversion to Christ.
We have a multitude of studies in relation to this topic already to elaborate on this point. True faith in Christ uses His moral law as a guide to work what is well-pleasing in His sight; as well as a guide to discerning where one needs His forgiveness and cleansing. His blood is only applied to those who walk in the light of His Word in submission to His authority with no sin harbored (1 John 1;7, 1 John 3:8, etc). Ultimate inheritance of salvation in Christ is at the end of fighting the Christian fight and running the Christian race- in bounds and without disqualification (1 Corinthians 9:27, 2 Timothy 4:8, Matthew 24:13, etc).
This is basic Biblical Christianity- yet it is strange to many- especially within the realm of evangelical Christianity. Conservative homeschool circles are by no means an exception. The seeds of the ungodliness of unconditional eternal security heresy are alive and well right within the very circles which seem serious about raising godly children- sabotaging the endeavor from within.
4) Supporting Modern Israel/Not Heeding Israel’s Fall in the Bible- The Apostles of Christ warned the churches frequently to take warning from the fall of the Jews in the Old Testament who disobeyed God and to take warning from the fall of the Jews in Christ’s time who opposed Him. They were not in God’s grace in spite of their being set apart and given the best advantages to walk in authentic godliness. Yet the Christians, tainted by the influence of the ungodly Jews whom they are warned not to follow to condemnation, not only don’t learn from their fall- they often even justify and support them.
Malachi 3:13-15 says: “Your words have been stout against me, saith the Lord. Yet ye say, What have we spoken so much against thee? Ye have said, It is vain to serve God: and what profit is it that we have kept his ordinance, and that we have walked mournfully before the Lord of hosts? And now we call the proud happy; yea, they that work wickedness are set up; yea, they that tempt God are even delivered.”
In relation to this point also, we have many studies to reference here. We wouldn’t need to talk so much about modern Israel if people didn’t get it wrong all the time.
It is not enough though to call out modern Israel for its crimes against humanity nor is it enough to acknowledge that the Jews who reject Jesus as their rightful King are going to hell.
We are specifically warned in Scriptures such as 1 Corinthians chapter 10 and Hebrews chapter 3 to note the judgment of the Israelites whom God rejected, and to take heed not to follow their bad example.
5) Uncooperative Mother- This alone can subvert a Christian upbringing. It can compound and multiply the bad effects of the other issues delineated here as well. When a wife doesn’t really take her husband’s authority seriously, and subtly and/or blatantly disrespects him before the kids, it emboldens them to dishonor God. This behavior also provokes the children to dishonor her as well as the father. It breeds tension and chaos in the home overall which, in the context of a Christian homeschooling family, deceives the children and outsiders into thinking “Look, that serious, strict Christianity didn’t work.” And due to the Jezebel influence in the churches, pastors will usually side with such a mother when disputes are brought to them. They are afraid of the scorn of their own wives in many cases.
6) Lack of the Rod by the Father or an Overbearing Father and/or Mother– Kids who aren’t disciplined when they knowingly do wrong will be emboldened to do further wrong. On the other hand, kids with overbearing parents seem to not be able to do anything right; and will be provoked to frustration and to give up trying to do what is right.
7) Blatant Hypocrisy- When parents act contrary to what they instruct, or they show partiality towards certain children, that is blatant hypocrisy. Hypocrisy is also surely promoted by prolonged involvement with a church where hypocrisy is evidently being tolerated among its membership.
8) Lack of Practical Instruction in Righteousness- It is not good if children are only instructed in terms of church time, school time, and family Bible time. They need instruction in real life situations in terms of what is the righteous thing to do in God’s eyes in the real life circumstance which they are being confronted with at the moment.
Deuteronomy 6:4-7 says: “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord: And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”
9) Lack of Personal Attention to Kids (Often Stemming from Being Overloaded in Relation to Having an Excessive Amount of Kids)- Related very, very closely to the previous point, many conservative church and homeschool circles seem like races where the first family to 10, 14, or even 18 kids wins. Even though abortion procedures and birth control methods which kill fetuses after conception are evil, the concept that any and all birth control to prevent conception is bad can easily lead to situations where parents (even if don’t have the time nor the emotional and mental energy to take the necessary time with each of their children. This is counterproductive to training them in the way that they should go. There is no good reason that parents who are having trouble supporting the children they already have in any way shouldn’t use preventive birth control methods until they are ready to fully support more. It is amazing to me that some people irresponsibly overreact to the bad trend of society and don’t use more common sense in this way.
10) Under Involvement or Over Involvement in Politics- Utter lack of political involvement often stems from an underestimation of the powers of darkness and how they tend to operate. This foolishness is detrimental in the spiritual war occurring now for the souls of men. There is vicious warfare that one must wage in Christ in order to be victorious over the devil in the end which those who are dismissive of the political realm will be paralyzed in. Strangely though, there is another side to no political involvement which has to do with ascribing more power to the devil than he actually has and wrongly judging men’s actions in the political realm to be one hundred percent the bidding of Satan.
Over involvement and too much interest in politics often implicitly states that political revival must precede spiritual revival- or it equates the two. It also tends to stem from, or to beget, an unwarranted trust in men. It is usually known when it is seen.
This line should not be a hard line to walk- yet I think it’s obvious that many significantly stray from it one way or the other to the detriment of godliness.
11) Lack of Training for Prevention of Covetousness- Covetousness in conservative Christian circles can be particularly subtle because often people’s repentance in areas like drug addiction, laziness, and other sinful habits can produce righteous material prosperity. It is great when kids are guarded from a lifestyle which leads to such habits and it is great when they are taught to work hard (as I think most conservative homeschooled youths are). However, they need to be warned against making an idol of material gain and not to trust in uncertain riches. They also need to be taught how to do this by example while still being diligent for godly ends. As 1 Timothy chapter 6 demonstrates, covetousness will eventually beget a multitude of other sins.
12) Parental Denial of Their Kids’ Pathetic, Ungodly Spiritual State- Many homeschool parents deny what is happening when they see the bad direction that their children are going in. Even as their offspring’s bad tendencies become aggravated, their irreverence increases, and their attachment to ungodly behavior and evil ideologies becomes evident they still tell themselves that such is not a cosmic, critical issue.
You know it because they are not greatly alarmed as well as earnestly seeking a remedy for what has gone wrong with their offspring.
They seem to even believe that the prayer that was prayed as a child will secure their offspring from God’s wrath (even though they are likely bothered by how their offspring’s sinful ways may be hurting them in the present).
The thought that their son or daughter, whom they raised with the stated goal of producing a godly Christian, would be on track to go to the fire of hell seems unthinkable to them- even though their son or daughter is obviously not living consistent with that stated goal.
They often even seem deluded to the point where they see those whom they witnessed as kids in their church and/or homeschool circle as immune to God’s eternal wrath.
The Jews, those whom God had reigned directly among and who were given more light of His ways than other peoples, were (and are) generally under the same delusion regarding their own group. Resting in their natural heritage rather than using the advantage at their disposal to actually walk in the most light of God’s ways generally caused them to miss their Messiah when He came (those Jews who have walked in the light of God’s ways since Jesus came have received and followed Him as their Messiah).
On the other hand, those with blatantly heathen upbringings, then (as well as now), still might seek the true God and rise above their heathen upbringing to attain a faith in Israel’s Messiah which is able to save them from God’s wrath and bring them into God’s kingdom with the people of the Bible who died in faith.
Jesus said that much Himself.
Matthew 8:5-12: “And when Jesus was entered into Capernaum, there came unto him a centurion, beseeching him, And saying, Lord, my servant lieth at home sick of the palsy, grievously tormented. And Jesus saith unto him, I will come and heal him. The centurion answered and said, Lord, I am not worthy that thou shouldest come under my roof: but speak the word only, and my servant shall be healed. For I am a man under authority, having soldiers under me: and I say to this man, Go, and he goeth; and to another, Come, and he cometh; and to my servant, Do this, and he doeth it. When Jesus heard it, he marvelled, and said to them that followed, Verily I say unto you, I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel. And I say unto you, That many shall come from the east and west, and shall sit down with Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, in the kingdom of heaven. But the children of the kingdom shall be cast out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”
Luke 13:22-27: “And he went through the cities and villages, teaching, and journeying toward Jerusalem. Then said one unto him, Lord, are there few that be saved? And he said unto them, Strive to enter in at the strait (narrow) gate: for many, I say unto you, will seek to enter in, and shall not be able. When once the master of the house is risen up, and hath shut to the door, and ye begin to stand without, and to knock at the door, saying, Lord, Lord, open unto us; and he shall answer and say unto you, I know you not whence ye are: Then shall ye begin to say, We have eaten and drunk in thy presence, and thou hast taught in our streets. But he shall say, I tell you, I know you not whence ye are; depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity.”
Aaron’s email is: [email protected]
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